by Rex Uterus

I've been to many a fetish party in my life, and in the interest in more of us having a good time, I thought I would share some suggestions with everyone.

Dress: I am a firm believer in investing time and effort in what we wear to fetish parties. I know that fetish wear, leather and latex costs quite a bit and most of us aren’t wealthy, but I honestly see far too many people putting little or no effort into how they look at these events. Dress is tougher for men. Personally I don’t think latex looks good on most men. Women who are over weight can pull off latex and look great and curvy. Sadly, the same is not true for men.  For men, think quality over quantity.  Too much and you end up looking like a gay leather daddy or even worse like Axl Rose. Invest in a nice well-made pair of leather pants, some nice boots and a jacket or vest. Then add subtle changes (I wont say 'accessorize', because, well it sounds too--you know) like belts, suspenders, shirts etc, etc. We all know that guy (or girl) that wears the SAME thing EVERYTIME. It’s tired. Also, lets be aware of our bodies, people.  Not everyone is tall, lean, muscular or sexy, but a fetish party is about being sexy. Invest in a mirror, be honest with yourself, and, again, put in a little effort. If you’re pushing 350lbs, bright tight neon yellow latex shorts might not be such a great choice.  Try for a long coat, leather pants and a black shirt.  Keep it simple. Uniforms can be a cheap alternative also and formal wear can be a refreshing change. I cannot express the following strongly enough--a hairy back is a seriously big no-no. Please guys, PLEASE wax or cover it up!!!!

Behavior: I work in the nightlife industry and I am amazed even after 15 years in this field how badly behaved and clueless people can be. Perhaps I am old fashioned, but being a lady or a gentleman NEVER goes out of style. I don’t care if men pay you a small fortune to abuse them, this doesn’t give you any right to have an attitude with everyone. Lighten up a little bit.  People wont lose respect for you if you laugh, have a good time, and express a little friendliness. Save the thin-lipped dominatrix bit for the clients. Smile, it’s a party.

This next piece is for the men: guys, calm down a little bit. Yes, the women are pretty, yes they are dressed in very hot outfits, but this doesn’t give you the excuse to act like a special ed kid waiting for his cookie at snack time. A little aloofness and decorum will make you more interesting to women. Don’t go up to every single or unescorted woman and ask, "Mistress may I rub your feet." Women see everything (just like the Terminator). You don’t look submissive; you look desperate.

I like to think of a fetish party as a great and fun place to network. Don’t inflict your personal fetishes on everyone there. Some of us are here with friends, taking a night off, listening to music and aren’t interested in spitting or stepping on every schmuck that approaches us, and yes sometimes we want to go potty alone too.

Have your money out and know what you want before you get in line at a busy bar. TIP THE BARTENDERS. Take a couple seconds and remove what you’re going to need before checking your coat. Leave the promoter(s) alone. They are busy. They are always dealing with drama both big and small. The time for comments/complaints/suggestions etc is for after the event. Send them an email.  Just because you see a busy party does not mean that the promoter has made a fortune. There are a million little expenses that pop up, and when you factor in the man-hours, very often they just break even. Party promoting is sadly often a labor of love.  Here is an unpopular suggestion, but I shall make it just the same, if the cover charge is $10 or less pay it!! Don't show up to the door and hem and haw with the doorman trying to negotiate the price. The logic with many is that if popular professional dominas are guest listed that men will flock to the party to pay and see them.  This is partially true, but the flip side of that coin is: if you're so successful is $10 really a big deal? Being on the guest list is nice, but it's a courtesy...don’t expect it and don’t demand it. Maybe if more patrons paid the cover, we'd have bigger and better parties to go to. Thanks for reading. Don’t forget to guest list me.